What to expect when she’s expecting

7 May

Yesterday I was sitting down with a couple of friends over a beer (non-alcoholic mind!) and barbecue in unusually great weather when the conversation worked its way round to fatherhood. One of the party was having a baby and she asked that we didn’t give the dad-to-be, the lowdown of what to expect. As if I would do such a thing!

NewbornIs it because women feel men are such kids at heart and take longer to grow up that they feel we might run off at the first sniff of fatherhood? (Hmmn, now there’s an idea!) Or do they worry more than we do, and feel we aren’t worried enough about what to expect, so by default not equipped to perform those fatherly duties. Could be that it is fed by the images in the media of dads not knowing how to change diapers or which end up a baby should be but things have changed sisters.

I could see the excitement written on the expectant father’s face (I’m not sure I can use ‘expectant father’ either but you get the gist) and the trepidation on the wife’s (this was going to be her second, his first) and I was thinking to myself, why would she be worried about him being in the know as it were. Being a dad for the first time is a pretty exciting experience, whether or not fear plays a part is debatable but there’s no denying the appeal of the inevitable. Here’s where I’m supposed to go on about how excited I felt when I was about to become a new dad but that was almost a decade ago now, sorry to disappoint. What I do know is that the excitement doesn’t wear off at least it hasn’t so far.


You have a lifetime of experiences to look forward to, that’s why. It doesn’t end with the first yelp when your child tests their lungs for the first time or the first step, word or nativity play. Every new thing you experience brings its own excitement which makes you understand the important job you’ve been given.

So it isn’t all smooth sailing, the sleepless nights, cuts, grazes, fever and trips to A&E where you’re sat for 3 hours only to be given Paracetamol  and told to ‘stop fussing’. Yet we know that there will be tough times; that’s what life is about isn’t it?

Some older or wiser folk might point to the fact that I haven’t had to deal with the “I hate you dad!” stage and you’re right, but at least by then I’ll be saving a packet on childcare which I could divert to something useful like earplugs or even alcoholic beer! Anyway I’m going to enjoy this period where I am my kids’ official hero, swatter of flies, destroyer of spiders, climbing frame, Maths and English tutor and ‘He who must be obeyed’, I’ll handle the teenage bit later.

So if you’re a new dad, becoming one or can’t remember why you were so excited in the first place I hope this read helps.


5 Responses to “What to expect when she’s expecting”

  1. Koko Puffs May 7, 2013 at 3:33 pm #

    awesome read.

    • cokefour May 8, 2013 at 10:37 am #

      Thanks 🙂

  2. allaboutmanners May 7, 2013 at 7:21 pm #

    Reblogged this on allaboutmanners and commented:

    • cokefour May 8, 2013 at 10:37 am #

      Thanks for the reblog, love your site by the way

  3. milkmaidmarian May 12, 2013 at 11:11 am #

    That’s so funny from the opposite perspective. My husband had a child from a previous marriage and I think he tried to “protect” me from the truth while I was expecting our first. After all, I guess, nobody can tell you exactly what parenthood will be like – it’s unique to every parent and every child.

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Alma Zosan

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